Introducing Dr. David Gottlieb's "must read" new book:

Your Child is Defiant: Why is Nothing Working?

Your Child is Defiant: Why is Nothing Working? Too often books about disobedient children are not helpful to parents because they offer one approach for all children who misbehave. In reality, there are different causes for rebellious behavior. A child could be strong-willed or could have a more serious problem like bipolar disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, or an autistic spectrum disorder. Or the problem might be with a parent's emotional state or with the marriage. Dr. Gottlieb helps parents figure out the underlying cause for their child's behavior. This book is the first detailed step-by-step guide for parents whose children repeatedly misbehave. It will show you how to:

  • become a careful, objective observer of your child's(and your own) behavior.
  • write down your observations.
  • become a detective by asking specific cue-questions that Dr. Gottlieb suggests.
  • discover the unique cause of your child's behavioral issue
  • follow Dr. Gottlieb's recommendations on what to do and what not to do!

Reviews of Dr. Gottlieb's new book:

From Parents:

"I found the book Your Child is Defiant: Why is Nothing Working very helpful in providing various strategies and coping mechanisms to deal with the many behavioral issues which my son possesses. I liked that Dr. Gottlieb realized that every child's situation is unique. There is not one set of traits that is exactly the same as another. Therefore, throughout the book I could pick and choose what fit the needs of my son, myself, and my family."

From parent of a 13 year old

"Dr. Gottlieb's book was worth a year of therapy. It helped us figure out why our child was behaving so badly."

From parent of a 7 year old

"When our daughter was diagnosed with ADHD NOS and ODD we were overwhelmed. I started reading as much as I could find on ADHD and defiance. Dr. Gottlieb's book is the first book I've read that lays out the topic of defiance in a straight forward, instructional, and easy to understand way. He doesn't assume a cause but rather helps parents break apart the complexity of why a child might be defiant. He tackles the subject of defiance in a new and enlightening way. It gives parents step by step advice to help them through this difficult and frustrating condition. Because of this perspective, Dr. Gottlieb's advice and knowledge has helped to heal our family."

From parent of a 7 year old

"Being the parent of a defiant child is defeating and exhausting. The daily struggle of just getting your child to comply with even basic requests leaves everyone under a constant strain. Dr. Gottlieb's book Your Child is Defiant: Why is Nothing Working? gives answers and hope back to parents. After reading this book, I have a clear understanding of the reasons for the behavior and the steps to take that will create change for our family. The book empowers parents and the family with strategies to get family life restarted again."

From parent of an 18 year old

From Professionals:

"The thing that is impressive about Dr. Gottlieb's book is that it is both practical and thought-provoking at the same time. Rather than taking the  position that all defiant behavior is the same, Dr. Gottlieb utilizes a general systems strategy that acknowledges what all good clinicians know: namely, that every situation is different. Sometimes the problem resides primarily with the identified patient, sometimes with one parent or the other, and sometimes within the marriage. In Your Child Is Defiant, each of these options is considered. Such a multidimensional viewpoint is important because effective intervention is predicated on an accurate understanding of every component of the clinical system. Dr. Gottlieb utilizes real case examples that illustrate a wide range of defiant behaviors, each with a unique solution. He addresses the question, Why does my child behave this way? in a practical and easily accessible, but also scientifically rigorous fashion."

Alan Ravitz MD is the Senior Director of Forensic Psychiatry and Senior Psychopharmacologist of the Child Mind Institute in New York City.   

"Your Child is Defiant is a “must read” for parents who are struggling with strong willed or angry children. Dr. Gottlieb has provided clear facts and case examples that will help parents feel informed and empowered as they search for ways to deal with their child's defiant behavior. He offers hope as he helps parents discern what they can do themselves and when they should seek help from a mental health professional."

Risa Graff, MA, BCET, is a Board Certified Educational Therapist with 35 years of experience in helping children and adults reach their learning potential. Mrs. Graff is a past president of the Association of Educational Therapists.

"An easy to read book that is well organized with very practical information and examples that can help parents understand and begin to solve their child's challenging behaviors. I couldn't wait to finish this book so I could share it with a colleague who was experiencing some challenges with their child. I will definitely make this part of my library in my office for parents, teachers and other therapists to use as a resource for the students whose behaviors are a challenge for everyone. I also liked the last chapter that had resources listed for parents. I liked the way Dr. Gottlieb took you through the process of diagnosis and treatment step by step in order to try and figure out what is happening with your child. In addition he gave suggestions of who to contact if you feel you need more help."

Jan Stepanczuk, L.C.S.W.
Echo School Social Worker

"Your Child is Defiant presents a systematic approach to dealing with difficult, strong-willed children. It clearly and methodically addresses how various factors--temperament, mental health disorders, marital and family issues, losses and traumas--can lead to oppositional behavior. In untangling the contributing sources of a child's defiance, Dr. Gottlieb will help weary and frustrated parents to effect positive behavioral change. This book is a welcome resources that will be valued by parents and children alike."

Elizabeth Steinhauer, MA, MD, FRCP(C)
Staff Psychiatrist, Student Counseling and Resource Service
Clinical Associate in Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience
University of Chicago

"Dr. David Gottlieb's book is a gem in the category of parenting books. He does a marvelous job explaining different root causes of defiance and anger in children and adolescents. Then he gives strategies to deal with anger and defiance, which match with the underlying cause. It helps parents to think in a logical way, fashion responses that work for a particular situation, and take care of the actual problem, instead of reacting to the child's negative behavior."

Mohammad Ilyas, MD, MHA
Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychiatrist

"Dr. Gottlieb's clarity and common-sense approach renders Your Child is Defiant an effective guide for individualizing a response to this most frustrating issue for parents. He shows parents how to reclaim their power constructively in addressing defiant stalemates. A little gem."

Mary Avellone, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist

"Your Child is Defiant: Why is Nothing Working? is an excellent resource for parents of defiant children and adolescents as well as for mental health and other professionals who are working with them to address the defiance. What distinguishes this book from others on this topic is the way strategies for remediation are tailored to an understanding of the underlying causes of the defiant behavior for each particular child. One size does not fit all. Dr. Gottlieb provides compelling reasons and clear guidelines for assessing the triggers and patterns that accompany the defiant behavior. He then links the results of this assessment to individualized and practical strategies that parents can use to diminish the objectionable behavior. Parents will learn to discern whether to use discipline or to attend to and fulfill their child's unexpressed needs. They also are given guidelines to determine when and how to seek professional help."

Marcia McCabe, M.A., L.C.S.W. (L.C.S.W. stands for licensed clinical social worker)

"This is a much needed book for professionals working with children who struggle with "defiant behavior" and their parents who don't know what to do. Students in the field of social services will also benefit greatly from its succinct presentation and eye-opening perspective. Dr. Gottlieb's clinical expertise and compassion have clearly informed his approach to parents and their children in distress."

Elizabeth M. Friedman, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist

"Dr. Gottlieb's book, Your Child is Defiant: Why is Nothing Working?, provides a logical approach for parents by providing both thorough problem identification methods as well as action plans. It gives parents and caretakers an opportunity to be participants in the process of change in a clearly stated, manageable manner. The charts are very user friendly. The case examples are easy to relate to, helping parents see that they are not alone in dealing with difficult children. As a school social worker I would highly recommend this book to parents struggling with defiant children."

Jane Stokar, LCSW
School Social Worker

"Dr. David Gottlieb has written an effective HOW TO book for parents of defiant children entitled Your Child is Defiant: Why is Nothing Working? This practical gem offers parents a clear system that they can use daily to change their child's (and their own) behavior: First, become a careful, objective observer of your child's (and your own) behavior. Second, write down your observations. Third, become a better detective-psychologist by asking specific cue-questions that Dr. Gottlieb suggests. Finally, in true sleuth-psychologist fashion, follow Dr. Gottlieb's recommendations of What to do and What not to do!
Simply, Dr. Gottlieb describes for your own use the tools that you can put to work daily, and that will make you a more effective, kinder, and wiser parent. Dr. Gottlieb, much like Dr. Phil (McGraw) and Oprah, at their best, offers parents the tools to become more relaxed and more confident."

Hubert Dolezal, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist

"Dr. Gottlieb brilliantly showed the various types of oppositionality and defiance which is critical in determining which bag of tools you need to use precisely! Seemingly a simple defiance stems from head strong temperament, poor parenting, stresses related to learning, or contextual stresses at school or home like teasing and abuse. He showed how each problem must be understood carefully and approached with sophistication that only an experienced and astute clinician can offer. He did deliver an outstanding book for families and clinicians to understand and apply. Highly practical!"

Mani Pavuluri, M.D.
Director of the Pediatric Mood Disorders Clinic
University of Illinois at Chicago